If you’ve not heard already, apparently a footballer took a girl to Nando’s A YEAR AGO, and she’s pissed off about it. Let’s be honest, this story is ridiculous. When I first read it, I, like everyone else, questioned why it was even being considered a story. Since when is a date to Nando’s saleable and newsworthy; who is ever disappointed with Nando’s?!

I know nothing about football or the men who play it, but Google tells me that Adnan Januzaj is an 18 year old winger/attacking midfielder (what does that even mean?) for Manchester United. His date, Melissa, claimed that he made her pick him up and pay for parking before announcing that they would be going to Nando’s. He was garbed in trackies, she was in a dress and heels. He paid £18 for dinner, and then took her to a three-star hotel to watch The X Factor.

The girl obviously Googled him before the date, and, to be honest, I’d have probably definitely done the same. You can’t base expectations off of someone’s Wikipedia page, though. Just because you know that someone earns £30,000 a week, it doesn’t mean that they have any intention or obligation to spend a significant amount of it on you.

I expected him to come to me in a flashy car, but I ended up driving him about in my old blue Fiesta and I was left to pay and display. Then he said he was taking me to Nando’s – my face fell.

I usually go there for a quick bite to eat with my mates. I didn’t expect to be going there on a date with a Man United footballer, especially in my dress and heels.

It’s almost irrelevant that he plays for Man U; I mean, he’s 18, for fuck’s sake! What would you really expect? This girl is 25 – she should have known better. In what reality do 18 year old boys deliver what she’s looking for? When I turned 18, my friends threw me a surprise birthday dinner at Nando’s; it was amazing and a joyous time was had by all. In fact, fuck my friends, as soon as I saw that little black and red cockerel, I expected to have a good time. What the fuck was this girl’s problem?

Her story clearly reflects badly on her, as opposed to on Adnan. She obviously sought out to make him look cheap, but instead came off looking shallow and bitter. It’s far too easy to throw around the term ‘gold-digger’, but it’s just too wonderfully fitting. Melissa makes it painfully clear that she is all ‘expect, expect, expect’, and this, sadly, reflects poorly on women.

I don’t know what world she’s living in, but when I go on a date, I don’t expect anything other than to, hopefully, have a nice time. It’s nice when men pick up the bill, and they often do, but it’s not inherently necessary or expected. Even if my date is a few years older, and I’m one hundred percent sure that they make good/more money, I always offer to split the bill or buy the next round. They mostly always reject this idea, and whether I decide to push it further or let it go tends to depend on how poor I am at the time. Regardless of the outcome, though, I am always thankful and they always appreciate that I’ve offered. It’s not a feminist thing; it’s a being a nice person thing.

By openly voicing her expectations of Adnan, and, by extension, all men, Melissa is essentially telling the world that she feels entitled to certain things because she has a vagina. What does this say about women? Where does it leave us after having fought so long to be seen as more than a plate of pussy with a side of tits?

Imagine if she had gotten what she expected. Imagine if Adnan had turned up in a ‘flashy car’, and had taken her to a fancy dinner (no drinks as he was actually 17 at the time), and had fucked her senseless in a five-star hotel. Imagine that. I imagine her story would have read that she only fucked him because he expected her to. Clearly, that’s the sort of person she is, and her tacky and pathetic story showcases it perfectly for.

Though, I’ll give her one thing, Adnan, you shouldn’t have gone on a date in trackies. But other than that, you’re better off without her. She looks cheaper than the chicken, anyway.


4 thoughts on “Nando’sDategate

  1. “Imagine if Adnan had turned up in a ‘flashy car’, and had taken her to a fancy dinner (no drinks as he was actually 17 at the time), and had fucked her senseless in a five-star hotel.”
    I think she’s already senseless.
    Great post, by the way.

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